so i havent updated in almost a month. i figured i should do that before i head off to europe.

finals werent anything exciting.

neither was toms river. but i guess thats what happens when you dont really talk to most of your high school friends. oh well.

new years eve was definitely the highlight of this break. friday night = drinking gross czech beer and playing kings with jess's mom. druzz's girlfriend screaming at him. then up to jess's room with colin, katie, and her brother.....i almost died.

Saturday = best new years in long island ever. so much food. so much drinks. mrs. cortapasso: "Happy Fucking New Year!" beer pong. kings. lesbians being outnumbered. jello shots. go giants! talking to a very wasted johan and j co. taking a "walk." shotgunning. and actually getting a kiss on new years ;) just to name some of the highlights....

im gonna miss these girls like crazy.

italy on thursday ..... what am i gonna do? i cant just walk down the hall/up stairs/across the room to see my best friends .... they'll be separated by a few countries lol.

so the rest of my 21st was awesome! chicken lounge was so much fun ... almost did the 21 drinks (20 and 1/2) ....

and now the semesters practically over and that means i go to italy really soon ....

last night = most random night ever.
it was margarita night, then i went to woodys with julie jackie and dana. got completely igored. didnt even get a head nod. but hung out with jose for a while. it was a fun night. weird, but fun.

and now i keep getting distracted from studying ....

so i havent updated in over a month. well nothing exciting happened.

had rugby elections. got secretary again. even tho im going to italy next semester so thats fun.

gin bucket night. BAAAAADDDDD. never again. but me jess julie and jackie all sang rent and wicked when we were wasted.

formal was saturday. so much fun! even tho i was dateless. but it didnt even matter. apparently me and daniella look like mexican princessses lol. and EVERYONE saw stegos boobs. we danced with the servers. and the old bus boy. and joseph. then after party at the eve elisabeth lobby. said some things i probably shouldnt have cuz i was retarded, got a little upset and passed out.

but it snowed!!!!!

and im finally 21!!!! woo hoo!! i can now legally be a waste of life lol.

had a tequilla shot with some of the roomies. went to woodys. which was closed. it was so disappointing. went back to get alyssa's car and went to stooges. didnt get wasted. we all had martinis then the bartender gave us birthday shots - electric blue - so good. even tho i suck at shots lol. then just had a beer before last call. and when we got back to the house jess and katie were wasted and kate was wearing jasons blonde wig. so of course i had to drink more.

tonights chicken lounge and the eagles game. cant wait!

so i havent updated in a while .... i guess a lot has been going on ....

halloween was pretty good. i was daisy duke. and NO ONE got to see me in it. boo hiss. Laura stayed over and went to stego's with us. good times. although it was a little weird drinking with her ....

but this past weekend was awesome! no more rugby games (we didnt make it to the playoffs.) so we were wastes of lifes on thursday friday and saturday. John came to visit ;) pole dancing on friday night. dont really remember much more of the night which totally sucks. but definitely remembered saturday night. edward 40 hands. so much beer. i feel so fat now lol.

and i have done absolutely no work all weekend.

21 in 4 weeks!

i have my life back! (aka my computer) it is finally virus free and functioning like it should. so it is no longer a whore, spreading viruses to the entire campus lol.

and im glad you finally talked to me. but alls i got out of it was that ur goin to sc sometime in the future. no explanation. no apology. no "can we try again." (not that i wanted to) nothing. i just dont get you. you want me like crazy one day. and then dont talk to me the next. i dont even know what to do cuz im not holding grudges. i really do want to still be friends with you.

i cant do this any more. you used to be the one person who didnt make me miserable. i was always happy when i thought about you. now im just completely miserable. and i cant do it any more. i wont do it any more. i know i told you to talk to me by the end of the weekend. but i really dont think you will. so as far as im concerned, im single now. if i shouldnt be then you need to call. you should call any way to figure things out. but im gussing since you havent talked to me in 2 or 3 weeks, that you just dont care any more. so im ready to move on. cuz theres other people who care about me. good bye.

i really dont know whats going on with my life right now. i know that you had a lot of shit going on that you didnt want to involve me in. but i want to be there for you and i feel like you dont want me there any more. i had expectations for an amazing break at home with you. but i saw you once for a really short time on thursday. and we didnt even get to be alone. not even a kiss goodbye. nothing. and you promised to call me when you woke up on friday. i figured you were working since you never called. and i though that after our convo thursday night you would make sure that we did something. but you could have called when you got home or something. but no. you went to the bar with your friends. with your friends who are ALWAYS home. but no phone call to your gf who is only home for a few days. and who misses you like crazy. then you expected me to pick your drunk ass up in seaside at 1am when i was already in bed b/c you never called me? are you crazy? no way in hell was i gonna do that even if my car was working. and then i know you told me i wouldnt hear from you from 8-5 on saturday. but what about after that? what about the times i called/texted you that day? why didnt you want to see me? do you not want to be with me any more? im so confused, i dont know what to do .... we NEED to talk. if you were any other guy, we'd be thru. but i care too much about you. you need to do something to prove you still care. i dont know what i expect but something. even just a phone call. i luv you.


"I know something is wrong,
I just don't know what to do.
You say it's only me, and, that I'm so perfect for you.
I don't want to try no more,
I don't want to make this right.
I just want you to be true to me one time.
And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone,
And I wonder if I'm alone in your head.
I'll give this one more try,
I'll give it all my best, and, I'll ask
What could you be doing that is so much fun?
Without me by your side"

AMAZING homecoming weekend! i;ve never felt like such an alcoholic. drinking from 11am Saturday to 3am SUnday. with at least 16 cases of beer. and that was just saturday. so obviously the game got cancelled on saturday (bryn mawr forfeited) so that was definitely awesome. it monsooned on saturday so we only went to the game for half time. saw mint* which was amazing. and tex won homecoming queen. then more drinking. couldnt tell you how many i had. good times good times.

on another note....


i havent talked to you in what seems like forever. and im coming home in 2 days to see you. i just hope something isnt wrong. im so confused and miss you soooooo much. i cant wait to see you on wednesday night. please call me/text me/respond to my messages. <3

awesome win yesterday ladies! we actually beat lehigh who was in division 2 last year.

i jammed my finger before the game even started. and it fucking hurts still. this typing is not fun. its kinda permanently curved now which is weird but whatever.

amazing night too with the ruggers. (and yardley's friends) even tho yardley passed out at like 10. drank way too much cuz i started way too early. but it was good time. and then a kinda weird convo at like 3 am. whatever. now i still feel kinda sick so i gotta rest before lindsay's 21st bbq later.

i was in a really weird mood today. so emotional for no reason. and i turned psycho against the one person i didnt want to. when all i wanted to do was talk to him. cuz i dont get to see you this weekend. so i just got so used to talking to you everyday and when you kinda sorta werent paying attention it hurt. cuz i didnt want to just talk to you when you were wasted and i wasnt. but now i feel shitty b/c of that. but i guess i'll just wait till tomorrow to talk to you. i miss you.

yet another great weekend at the berg....

dan took me out to dinner to outback steakhouse ... definitly not used to a guy doing that for me .... then watched the american presidnet and bed early cuz of the first game in the morning.

first match at lasalle ... good game altho we lost ... i started (woo hoo!) and played the first half of the A and B games ... probably shouldnt have played the b game tho .... hit my head during a tackle in the first game and got a ridiculous headache ... hit my head even harder in the second game .... that sucked hard core ... but i think i scared myself more .... i was kinda out of it and had absolutely no energy to do anything .... but dan took care of me ;)

sang some songs on the bus ... food in gq .... took an amazing nap ... woke up a little out of it still ... social at stego's good time ... even tho dan was way to retarded ... and it kinda pissed me off, but whatever, im over it ....

just rested all day today ... got slightly annoyed at the parentals for lecturing me on something i dont think they understand ....

over all an awesome weekend tho!

dan's coming to visit again this weekend !!!

can't wait for that....

so i just read an old journal entry from over a year ago. i never realized how much things would change. maybe its the timing. maybe we just finally grew up and realized what was always there. i just hope this doesnt get fucked up again.

Monday October 17th

7:00 pm

Muhlenberg practice soccer field

Prom Dress Rugby

Be there.

amazing. what more can i say. so much fun.

Dan came to visit me for his 21st. good times. football game with nalgene/wawa iced tea bottles filled with "soda." alyssa and jen went to philly? they're together? no way! back at the house with rolling rock power hour.

after everything thats happened this semester so far, i really needed that. too bad he was only here for one day :(

and now i have to actually get back to classes ....

TR boys are coming to visit this weekend!

so excited!

rugby started this week! woo hoo!

so sore now tho.

first game next week at dickinson!

so i needed this girls night tonight.

and sara came! super exciting!

mmmmm oh how i love margaritas. even if the whole house wasnt here. i still had an awesome time any way. and it kept my mind off of everything from this past week.

and dan is coming to visit next week for his 21st! woo hoo!

so last night was definitely not the best night of my life. but (although i hate to admit it) it was probably for the better. i am really tired of everyone saying that i deserve better or that i needed to find someone new anyway, but its not really helping. and i know that i wasnt technicaly dumped cuz we were never "together" but i had gotten so used to it. why did we have to hang out the first weekend here? i mean we were only here a week, it wouldnt hurt as much if nothing had happened. but in a weird way im glad that we at least had that. i was gonna have to move on at the end of the semester. so i guess its better this way. its just so random that i dont really understand anything. and he was so wasted last night that he wasnt making any sense at all. i just wanna talk to him and tell him one last thing. cuz i dont know if its possible for us to be friends. just friends. nothing more than that. i dont think we've ever hung out that way. we'll just have to wait and see.

why do i always have such bad timing?



"Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion?
Did you ever miss me?
Ever long to kiss me?"

this weekend. sooooo good.

first thursday of the semester - awesome times. wasted by 9 30. cant get much better than that.

friday - no drinking for me but rosie sang "im a little teapot."

saturday - mmmmmm margaritas. me and julie finished the entire bottle. and jess and the franzia. "i'm gonna be your baby's momma. where is jen? dont leave me alone!"

and this was only the first official weekend of the semester.


next weekend - me and katie's parties. good times.